Marriage as a Spiritual Practice
I remember the passion of falling in love. I remember the discovery of love and all things things vibrant and mystical.
Then the healing began, the coming up of feelings pushed down and the witnessing of each others' pain. To walk together through that, and to continually grow, and reach, and fall and pick up has been my favorite part of marriage. I cherish the moments I said yes—to him, to life, to myself—when the fear felt so big and my heart wanted to hide under the covers. Instead I said yes—yes I will show you more, yes I will stretch here, I will open my heart and I will lean on you. This is the yoga of marriage.
And yes, the truth hurts sometimes.
I am grateful for the mirror and the bestie who knows when I am full of it. I am grateful for the man who won't be my gossip partner, who will not yes me to please me, and who challenges me to be brave. I am grateful to the man who makes tea for me each morning and who knows when I have had enough. The man who understood my ache to mother so fully. Who enjoys long talks about education and conscious business, farming and the future. Who regularly engages in inspired exchanges between driving and cooking and working and doing our day-to-day. No perfection here—this is the truly sacred act of being with another human being with the intention to uplift and inspire.
Sometimes that looks sweet and kind, and other times it's fierce and strong. Partnership and love and marriage and relationship are gifts of this human experience. Flowers on Valentine's Day mean very little to me, but the steadiness of a partner who I know has my back and my heart gives me a sense of comfort and deep gratitude.
As I watch my children grow, as I witness my own personal growth and that of my partner and our marriage, I see that all of these relationships need the same things—love, kindness, compassion, trust, commitment and patience, to name a few. I see that all the relationships I have in my life are spiritual partnerships.
It is within our relationships that we get to work out so many levels of soul growth and, for me, this powerful and often difficult work is the most sacred.