Lush Green Summer Awakening

I come from lush green. Wet rain and moist earth. Growing up in Vancouver, BC, I know of rain and clean air and polite people. 

Every summer I would spend on Vancouver island with my auntie Bev. Those epic summers included her driving me in her convertible with our hair in scarves. Watching soap operas and me helping her with her babies. It was there, one summer, that I discovered magazines—Seventeen and Tiger Beat and Popular Culture entered my consciousness. I remember feeling like I had entered into a new world, one that appeared exciting and full of vitality and hope. It was here that I dreamed of one day living the dream of what I read in the magazines. 

During these trips to Vancouver Island I discovered my emerging self. It was here that I watched Phil Donahue's show, and I remember so vividly when he talked about stay-at-home vs. working mothers. I was riveted by this show and this topic. I felt complete compassion for the stay-at-home mom, who shared about the value of being with her children. As she was attacked by the working moms, I, who had been raised by a single working mother, felt an allegiance to the stay-at-home mama.

Perhaps it was because, growing up without connection to my birth father, I felt an ache for family. Perhaps it was having a mama who gave me and my brother everything always made me feel so very loved. Whatever the reason at the tender age of 12 I remember thinking -- I want children…...

What I do know is that there is deep within me a woman who believes that living your dreams aligned with purpose lights up this world. There is also a woman who believes in the value of a steady parent at home. I assumed it would be me. For a long time it was me, but for weeks out of the year I am away working as my husband steers the ship.

I find it interesting that those summers on the island planted seeds of Hollywood and mothering—two such uniquely different sides of a coin. I am grateful to have that lush green space that informed my ethics, my values, and held my dreams with innocence and fire. 

May we see each other with our flaws and beauty and hold each other up.

With love,
Carrie Anne

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