I Am an Artist
Some days I forget.
The tasks and routine of my days take over and I forget I have any creativity to bring forth.
Through the long and sometimes painful process of losing sight of the creative goddess within me, and then rekindling and refining her, I have come to see what is true: I am an artist.
I have an altar at home with images of the mother, inspirational sayings, rocks and crystals and an award I won years ago for the performance I did in Memento. It isn't natural for me to bring trophies to my living space; it's not my style. I chose to bring it out, not to remember that I was validated for my work, but to remember the artistic experience I had making that movie. The way my art came together over those 10 days and unfolded in a way I never imagined. Where, between action and cut, I felt the true pulse of the woman I was embodying.
I put that trophy on my altar to remind myself not to hold onto that feeling, but to remember that it is possible. To remember that when I get out of my own way and let go of fear—fear of failure—I have the opportunity to see beyond my limited thinking.
When I connect to that part of me, and look to ALL I do from this place of creativity and freedom, my relationships transform, my family thrives, and my work is elevated. I feel in flow with life. Creating courses and writing stories for Annapurna Living come through me in a very easeful way.
If I move through the activities of my day and begin to feel lackluster, or lose my creative edge, my altar becomes a touch stone, a reminder, a secret message. Reminding me that SHE, the artist, is available anytime. It is my job to call her forth and see my world through her eyes.
It is up to me. No one else will give her to me.
So today, when I walk by that trophy and wipe the dust off of it, I will give a quiet blessing to the artist that I am. I will remember that this life is my art, and when I create from this pure place, all is possible.