5 Simple Communication Guidelines Inspired by Working on Set

On a film set there is a person called a Script Supervisor. The job is larger then I’ll describe here, but if you’re an actor, this person comes up after the director has called cut and points out when you’ve made a mistake. He or she points out when you’ve dropped a line or picked up the coffee on the wrong cue, which you established hours ago when you shot the master. (The master is the full scene from a wider perspective).

When this person (often a woman, by the way) walks up to correct me, I can feel stress in my body, depending on my mood or the mood of the scene. I know if all is well she won’t come to me, so in essence her presence alone is indicative of an error.

This morning I thought about the beautiful young woman that holds this job on a show I’m currently shooting.

This woman has grace.

She takes her time and doesn’t rush right in. She subtly finds the moment to come in and uses words that suggest instead of correct. The way she communicates doesn’t feel harsh, it feels like teamwork.

It reminds me of communication in all my relations.

It reminds me of being a mother.

As she was going about her job with professionalism and grace, this young woman showed me that how you do things is who you are.

Communication guidelines inspired by my coworker:

  1. Find the right time. When in doubt, wait.

  2. Know that the way you say something can be more powerful than the words you say.

  3. Don’t attack—suggest.

  4. Connect first and then correct.

  5. Be of service through your communication.

I am aware that the way I receive something makes a huge difference as well. How I receive what others say matters.

I choose to grow.

I choose to see right in front of me the lessons of my life.

I am grateful to be able (most times) to rise above the need to be right and instead be able to see the bigger picture.

When we feel supported, loved, seen and like we are a part of something, we can grow into ourselves. I think that’s what we all crave...

That feeling of belonging, being understood, and being part of something that works.