Spring is here, and as I watch the flowers emerge and the fragrances exhale, I am finding clarity in my corner of the world.
Clarity is important to me, and when I realized that I was craving clarity it helped to guide me in every aspect of my life.
I crave clarity in my relationships, in my work, and in the way I move through the world. I crave clarity in the way I show up and ask the questions I need.
I often hold the space of "witness." Witness of the life I have: watching the little boys in baseball uniforms slide down the patch of grass with stains on their white pants, giddy with glee. I know this moment, this ritual that my children do over and over again and will be done by other children for years to come. I connect with the gratitude that I witnessed this with my own children; that I witnessed it with other children; that I didn't pass by this (seemingly unimportant) part that could have easily been missed while I was rushing to get dinner on the table and kids to bed.
I'm so glad I didn't rush that part. The bridge between a game and home.
I sometimes dream of living a simple life on a farm with less distraction. I crave that too. My reality, however, is that I have a thriving career and children who want to know this world around them. Hiding out on a farm feels like a deprived existence for my almost 13-year-old. Of course he doesn't know what is best, but he sure teaches me and humbles me daily.
::Clarity:: live where I am now. Be here now.
No one could have prepared Me for the 5'9" young man that made me a mother. All the thinking and knowing would never had made sense to the heart of this mother. It is through the day to day movements and routines that I grieve the bits that are over while celebrating the new—even though it scares and bewilders me so.
::Clarity:: relationship matters
"I let go of my need to control and my judgement. I witness that part of me and I stretch."
I wrote that in my journal last year, and honestly I think it's my Guiding Light for every thing I do and everything I face. Keep stretching, keep growing.
::Clarity:: the answers are within me
From the preteen in front of me to the 6 year old who stretches daily to the middle child who makes it all seem so effortless. To an issue with my love or a squabble with a friend.
To the hardships I read daily in the news. To the politics.
To the business I work and love.
To the fear I have within me::
I witness that part of me and stretch around it.
It just feels good to say it out loud. You see, I want to live my life All-In. I want to remain open while the world happens around me. I want to wake up in the morning without grudges eating at my soul. I want to create business that lights me up and serves the whole. I want to hug my husband in the morning over tea. I want to remain curious with my children and their developing emerging selves.
I want to feel part of a community
To support and be supported
These things are important to me.
I build my life around this.
Clarity gives me this.
Full-on, face-to-face, heart-to-heart with my life::
Note: I sent this out to my email list today, but I wanted to put it here for everyone. If you'd like to join my list, you can do so here.