Trusting My Creative Self
I'm sitting in a hotel room in Cleveland thinking about creativity. I have three acting jobs back to back and my focus is not on Annapurna Living. Instead, my creative energy is focused on character and wardrobe, back-stories and lines to memorize.
My creativity is going into being present with my children between these jobs, and holding them dearly to my inner heart when I'm far away.
My courses for Annapurna Living—the creations I dream of and yet don't quite know how I will make them in the midst of it all—are sitting on the back burner on my stove. The burner I don't often use because it doesn't get hot enough, but I place my beautiful red kettle there because it makes me feel happy when I see it.
A year ago this would have stressed me. A year ago I would think—perhaps I need to hang it up and let it go. But I know differently now. I understand my creativity differently now. I understand the flow of my creative self and that, in the moments of this I've-got-nothing feeling, will come something amazing.
It's like when I hold a difficult posture in yoga and then release. It is in the rest that I receive it all—the bliss, the gold, the deep presence.
I don't need to push today.
I don't need to quit today.
I need to listen to the muse that is me and trust her creative flow.
I am grateful to know this. It has come through many a night of feeling despair that I lost the magic, that I would not create again.
Like the moon,
Like the moon, so do you.