The Power of Primordial Screaming

I grew up in a culture, where as a girl you were brought up to be “the nice girl,” to not take up too much space, to hold back and let others go first. It is a nice thing to do. But what a living hell if that sentiment becomes a prison, that you can’t break out of.
— Marie Mamonia
Photos by Merissa Blitz

Photos by Merissa Blitz

by Marie Mamonia

For long, I have been fascinated by the idea of catharsis, a purging of emotions to effect a change. As a Reiki Master I work with moving energy and restoring harmony in the body to reach an ultimate flow of life energy, also known as Prana or Chi. It is an intuitive process, so I have learned to trust my intuition. To surrender and give a voice to your heart is one of the most meaningful things we can do as humans. To learn to trust our inner voice and free ourselves from the constant chatter of our minds. The Scream was an important piece for me to do, for many reasons… and it scared the hell out of me, so I knew I had to do it.

The Scream had been brewing inside me for a while and the calling for my Love Warrior to come out and show its face didn’t subside during the past year. Finally I did it on October 19th, 2015 at Times Square, New York City. In the following, I am sharing with you the reasons behind the performance piece and the poem I read out before letting out a series of primordial screams.

I grew up in a culture, where as a girl you were brought up to be “the nice girl,” to not take up too much space, to hold back and let others go first. It is a nice thing to do. But what a living hell if that sentiment becomes a prison, that you can’t break out of. Then the nice girl could easily loose it and become a real bitch. And it is not socially acceptable for girls to take up a lot of space. We have to be flexible and take some space when needed, but then for christ sake take a back seat, don't be too loud or obnoxious, nobody want to be around that!

But what do you do then, when you have been holding back all your life? What do you do when you’ve been playing the role of nice girl so well…? You need catharsis to let it all go, you need a series of healing episodes to transcend all those years of holding back, and so the scream emerges. It has to be a primordial scream. Something so powerful it can cut through the years and layers of bullshit, like a sharp blade. You need to embody the love warrior that you are.

To reach Catharsis. Catharsis (from Greek κάθαρσις katharsis meaning "purification" or "cleansing") is the purification and purgation of emotions—especially pity and fear—through art or any extreme change in emotion that results in renewal and restoration. It is a metaphor originally used by Aristotle in the Poetics, comparing the effects of tragedy on the mind of spectator to the effect of a cathartic on the body.

The Scream is an artistic, ritualistic act to cleanse the Self, as well as a unifying act for the collective consciousness. A way to reach others through the healing of the Self. It is an answer to the suffering, the imbalance of the equilibrium of masculine and feminine energy on his Planet. It is a conscious effort to bring about healing and balance to the divine female power. I hope to touch you with my scream. For my voice to be yours and the voice of so many women who are not able to stand up and scream it all out. I scream for you.

Many times I have felt like screaming, but I have always held back, because I was afraid of taking up too much space, of upsetting anyone, I mean what if people thought I was genuinely upset? or worse; crazy? What if people would come running for my rescue… Then what..? It would be so embarrassing that I just simply wanted to scream! Imagine that. Me, taking that space. So I didn’t. I held it back. As if I could allow myself the selfish luxury to scream simply because I wanted to! So, I always wished someone would scream. I mean sometimes you just want to scream, right?

I have always been fascinated with the famous picture by Edvard Munch, The Scream. The image haunted me. Why did the person depicted scream? Was it out of fear, anger, or desperation… Or all of it? I wanted to somehow know it, and honor “The Scream” by holding it under my arm and bringing it with me to the 21st century, to dare say this is why we are screaming.

And what better place to do it than New York City? The place is practically swarming with mad people screaming and being obnoxious. I would fit right in. I felt a sense of solace about New York being the first place for this performance piece. I wanted to give something back to this place, true to its spirit. In celebration of the free, fierce, artistic power dancing these street of golden dust, that has given me so much. I have experienced so many great artists here and been so inspired by the energy and the spirit of the city, that I felt I owed it to New York to fill its street with a piece of me. No holding back.

IT WAS FIERCE. I FELT SO MUCH RELEASE AND LOVE FLOWING THROUGH ME.

I want to give you myself in this moment. The pictures speak for themselves and I did feel safe there, in the middle of Times Square buzzing with cars, people and activity, opening up my wounds to the winds. I was protected by the clan of other weirdos doing their clowning in the square and I felt the city’s angels watch over me.


Photo credit: Belle Savransky

Photo credit: Belle Savransky

About Marie

Marie Mamonia is a Danish poet and published author. She is a Reiki Master and Founder of We Make Peace residing in Brooklyn, New York.
 
“There is a common thread flowing through my work whether I write, make art, teach or do healing work. There is a desire to transcend the physicalities of the moment to invoke change. My favorite tools are trust and feminine intuition, to create subtle transformations in people, to be part of the collective conscious evolution by remaining open to the ever-changing essence of the present moment.”

Connect with Marie at MarieMamonia.com.