My children are growing and becoming. I wish I could say I am one to see this growth and evolution through the eyes of my higher self. I wish I could full-heartedly embrace, as Khalil Gibran wrote, “your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. They come through you but not from you, and though they are with you yet they belong not to you.”
I wish I didn't secretly yearn to still hold them, each, as newborns. I wish I didn't long to go back—back to their little bodies and baby talking and hours of nursing.
I wish they did indeed belong to me so I could attempt to control their disappointments, their heartaches, mistakes, and missteps.
You see, I love who my children are growing into. I love to see them fly and grow. Their independence makes me grateful to the core, and on a good day I am reminded by my wise partner that these growth spurts and tender moments of becoming are all part of the big picture.
But today I feel the ache in my heart of time gone by. The moments of my children as babies are over—replaced, of course, with splendor and magic—but over just the same.
So when i realize I am spinning into a space of wanting to hold on too tight, I lean on these wise words from the Prophet. I lean on my sweet knowing mother who confirms that right parenting is creating human beings who can fly and be free.
Truth be told, I lean on any bit of inspiration I can find. I sleep with my crystals, I cry and stare at pictures of my babies growing, and I lean on the women who have come before me. I find relief in knowing I am not the only mother who finds it hard to let go.
But I do—I let go—because I have to, because it is the only way. Only these sacred young ones could inspire this mama to do what every fiber of me DOES NOT want to do—to let them go. To have absolute faith that all is well, and that their journey is theirs—not mine.
As we dance this dance together I hold them tightly when they want me to, and when I have the strength, I let them go when they need that, too.
PS ... if you are a mother who needs a hand to hold during these parenting days of ache and splendor, please join me and my friend Natalie as we spend four weeks In the Living Room learning about connection and ways that through taking care of ourselves with kindness and compassion also takes care of our children. You can read more about our eCourse MOTHER here.