Facing Myself

Even though I often want to live off grid in nature ..
I know,
I will still have to face myself

Energy is everywhere
It's in everything
The food you eat
The music you listen to
The people you choose
And the people you come across all day long
It's in your thoughts
It's in your breath

Living a conscious life for me
Is asking myself: how do I grow from what is right in front of me.
What do I let go of?
Who do I let go of?
Who do I chose to stand tall with and work it out with,
and who do I let go of,  trusting that I am making room?
The pain
The fear
The deep love
Intimacy with my life is the
Vacation I've been searching for.

Intimacy with my people has opened me to the me I have been searching for

Everyday I design my life from the inside out
My car is always dirty
My nails are never done
But when I lie down at night I know that I'm growing
And that I'm finding my way

Carrie-Anne_NYC_BW-90.jpg

I have been on a journey of personal discovery for as long as I can remember.
Moving to the city of Angels at 24 brought me to hub of the self-help movement.

I have worked with many teachers many counselors.
I have taken seminars and classes in hope of personal growth ::

But what I have come to
Is that anytime I attach my healing or my personal growth to a teacher (or anyone else) I will never truly grow.

It's when we look within
When we understand that only we can heal ourselves.
Only we hold the key to our personal growth.
Having teachers and inspiration and mentors is key,
Yes of course
But when our growth is held by the idea that someone outside of us will do it for us,
We get stuck in the hamster wheel of self-help exploitation and profit.

Who are you doing it for? Whose voice is in your head? What's important to you?

Stop pointing fingers and look at yourself.
Shift.
Heal.
Know how lovable you are.

Feed yourself well in mind and body
Connect to your soul
What do you stand for?
Heal your lineage.
Live your life for you.

 

Love,
Carrie-Anne


photo by Catherine Just

 

Impeccable With My Word

There is a Kriya-meditation that I love to do.
It's called Laya Yoga and once,
As a part of my kundalini teacher training,
I did it for 2 1/2 hours.

In my Kundalini teacher training manual there is the how-to-do-it and then this directive ::
"When you practice this Kriya earnestly
Be conscious and graceful with each world you speak."

The words we speak matter.
The words we speak to our people face-to-face and
The words we use when that person isn't in the room
They matter.

The words we use — create the world we live in.
The words we think — are often given to us  
from our parents and society
And then we pass them on to our children, to our friends.
The stories we tell, sometimes over and over again,
Those stories inform others on who we are. 

It takes discipline to be impeccable with your word.
It takes awareness and humility to take a stand for your personal accountability, 
And to clean up when you mess up.
It takes waking up to decide—
That old story isn't mine anymore.

Impeccable with my word by Carrie-Anne Moss

I asked my dear friend Natalie
What she did for self care
She answered,
"I tell the truth."

Isn't that the truth.
Life is less complicated and
Relationships are clear and free
When both people know
That truth and honesty rest between them.

Be impeccable
Be graceful
Be conscious.

Let others around you know how powerful you are.

Love,
Carrie-Anne


Want to go deeper with Annapurna Living? Join my Inner Circle here. Or get on the list for the 2018 Fierce Grace Collective here.


Keeping Steady

One of things that's been life-changing for me is the concept that I can find the pause, the rest, the exhale within all I do.

Waiting until the end of the day
Or next week when I get it all done then I'll take a break
isn't sustainable. 

Keeping steady for me
Involves knowing that within it all
I can take a break.

I can mentally pause and find the calm inside all of it.
Of course, rituals such as tea and sitting down to eat are opportunities to take that exhale
But for me it's the mind break
It's the relaxing of my face
And the smile turning inward
Toward my heart
My soul.

Keeping steady for me is not falling off the rails when I read something infuriating.
It's being kind
Eating well
Sleeping well
And it starts in the dark on my sheepskin
When I connect to the blessing of my life
And of this journey I'm on.

This is my one life
How am I going to live it? ::

Keeping steady
Reminds me:

One foot in front of the other ::

Because when I am steady i can be helpful.
When i am steady I can be powerful
When i am steady i can be a force in the world without burning myself out.

Carrie-Anne Moss Annapurna Living

Join me on October 1 as I begin my new month of the Annapurna Living Inner Circle. The theme? Keep Steady. I need it now. Maybe you do, too.

Join me and all my women from around the world as we practice, lean, learn and support.

When you join, you get access to my virtual women's circle with meditation videos, conversations, music, moon calendars, and more.

Love,
Carrie-Anne



polaroid photo: Catherine Just

It's Hard Being A Woman

We don't want to admit
That it's hard being a woman
The ache we feel for the collective pain is unbearable at times.

We feel things deeply
We hold things, many things.
(Of course men do too)

We are sensitive
We ebb and flow and
We change like the moon

We don't want others to think we aren't strong or put together
We want to be respected and to be seen as equals.

We want to be seen as able to do it all
Smiling and confident  
Amazing children
Svelte and strong body
Dynamic Career
Hot marriage
Compassionate philanthropy

The truth is
It's hard
The pressure we put on ourselves and our lives is exhausting

It's hard being a woman by Carrie-Anne Moss

I was on a plane the other day
Solo
No kids
No work to do on the plane
Just me.
I sat
I slept
I drank some water
It was easy

I watched the parents with littles
And I remembered how full-on that is
Traveling with little people

It's hard
Amazing, yes
But hard

We have to admit that it's hard
Whether you have kids or not
Times are tough
We need others to listen
To see us
To feel us

As women we stopped sharing the hard in fear that we would be seen as weak.
We looked around and thought “she looks so good/she must have it figured out.”

No she doesn’t

We are all struggling
We are all finding our way
There is no secret

Women need council
We need community
We need support

My dear friend Malin teaches me so much
She is truly a kitchen healer
Most of the healing she gives me happens in her kitchen
She holds space
She listens
She knows just what I need
A tea
A salad
A hug
A big cry

She shows me that my overwhelm isn't so much about all the things I need to do
But in the feelings that lie underneath
She listens with compassion
No fixing
She is my teacher my friend
I grow in her presence

We need to have space to share without being held to the hard parts…
When we share them we give them room to move and shift
We need that
We need each other

 

Love,
Carrie-Anne
 


Click here to get on the mailing list to join my Fierce Grace Collective in 2018. Photos by Michelle Gardella. 


Stepping into Fierce Grace

I've spent that last last two years exploring softness.
Me, the strong one with my heart on my sleeve

I remember visiting my spiritual teacher-friend-incredible-human Guru Singh.
I had failed (I felt) at keeping my cool in a certain situation.
I was feeling harsh towards myself.
I wanted to be more graceful,
More calm, I told him,
More like the other women who I perceived as grounded and graceful.
Guru Singh looked me in the eye with wise intensity and said,
"We need you to be just as you are.
That standing up and having a voice and cutting through the crap is your superpower."

It has taken me years to accept that.
It has taken me years to appreciate that.
Its taken me years to see that PART of me as solid and worthy and valuable.

Yes I still explore softness.
I value the relaxing and the out-breath, the not reacting,
the sleeping on it.
I know value lies here.
I know without softness I will burn out and stress out and be of no use to anyone,
especially myself.

But let me be strong here and
Clear.
And say,
Let's stop apologizing for who we are.
Let's stop playing small.
Stop complaining.
Stop
Being polite,
and step into our
Fierce Grace.

That part of ourselves that values our journey,
That knows that perfectionism and pretending are bullshit.
We know that to do the important work we are each here to do,
we must start with letting go of self doubt.
The self doubt that lingers in comparison and shame.
Let's understand that we need to keep up.
We need our vitality.
We need to step into our power day after day after day.

So we fine tune::

We sweat-exercise
We explore-write-self-enquire
We create-draw-paint-cook-dance-hands-in-earth-love
We connect  
We simplify
We ground
We expand
We dance
We cry
We feel our feelings
We release
We stand tall
We lie down
We make our lives aligned with what we hold dear
We bring that into every bit of everything we are and everything we do.
We make a difference in this world

We wear a lot of hats,
We do a lot of things.
Women need support and tools so that their minds and bodies are strong.
Staying out of drama and stepping into dharma.

Mind clear
Body vital
Heart open
Spirit full up

Year of Fierce Grace
Meet me there

I want it all, too
Let's do it together

Fierce Grace Collective by Carrie-Anne Moss

Our map:

::Meditation Kriya for the Year of Fierce Grace::

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This Kriya will guide us through the year of 2018. Though we will have a different meditation each month, the Kriya will be our anchor through the year. It will have workout elements to it so that we bring the body into it.

I will lead live (virtual) meditations once a month. And I will have live video calls each month to connect with you and answer your questions.

Each week there will be information for you to feed your mind, and wisdom to feed your heart.

We are also building a Fierce Grace Pharmacy:: an apothecary filled with all the meditations we have done. And resources. Food for thought, for growth, and for revelation.

By joining me you will also be joining women all over the world. We will build:
Inspiration
Creativity
Community

Registration opens November 1. To find out more, sign up here

Love,
Carrie-Anne